If you've ever been in a toxic relationship, this is for you..
Why was it so addictive? I’m sorry you had to go through it too.
I think heartbreak is definitely the worst hell.
Heroin(e) is now live on Spotify and Itunes (& Youtube tonight @ 7)
It obviously didn’t come from the happiest of times but hey, we learn.
This song is surprisingly not about opiates and not intended to be insensitive to the opiate crisis, but a commentary on the systemic issues that cause cycles of unhealthy dynamics; aka what our culture encourages romantic love to be.
Before the pandemic hit, I went through one of the worst breakups, and I started to wonder why I kept ending up in relationships where I was codependent. I noticed similar patterns with other women in my life and I wondered why love often tended to stress the concept of being “as one” with someone else, and why women often struggle to maintain their identity in relationships.
If you ask someone to define what love is (and I’ve asked a lot of people), they’ll tell you it’s loyalty, sacrifice, comfort, unconditional, your “other half”. While these are lovely sentiments, they’re pretty problematic and don’t necessarily help us when we get into an unhealthy relationship. If we’re loyal, sacrificial, within the bounds of “comfort”, and loving someone without any conditions for how they treat themselves or us, we can end up merging in a way where neither of us is helping the other grow, and that isn’t love.
Love isn’t “merging” in a way that you are no longer whole on your own. I’ve started learning about love as a state of interdependent partnership, and interdependence is very different from codependency. More on this later with the documentary - but for this month you get the final songs and videos the New York Women’s Fund and the New York Foundation for the Arts helped me produce.
Stay tuned. I’m going to be hiding more love notes, in as many places as I can over the next few weeks for the release of Love Letters on October 25th. If you’d like to help me hide them near where you live, let me know ❤️ Then, there will be one more surprise to kickstart November.
Also, I updated the website - and added fineapple crops and vinyls and tattoos. I’ve decided to call the pineapple logo the fineapple. Because it’s a fine pineapple.